Living Lies

This blog is of the inconclusive, rambling variety. It was inspired by a line in a book I recently read and a conversation with a fine, young Hesquiaht mom (E.R.) who also happens to be my cousin. In The Book of Tells, author Peter Collett states that little lies lubricate our social interactions. E.R. recounted an interaction where a grocery store clerk asked her how her day was and she responded with something like, "Terrible. I'm having the worst day ever." The clerk was speechless and looked at her like she was nuts. The correct answer would have been something like, "great" or "fine" or "pretty good, glad its Friday..." E.R.'s moment of honesty actually violated an unspoken social contract: Small talk is meant to be polite but not honest. The clerk was not really interested in how she was doing and the frank response made her uncomfortable.

I think it is safe to say that I am more open and honest with my feelings and thoughts than I was before and yes, this has a tendancy to make people uncomfortable. I even lost a job and disqualified myself from many others I'm sure. We hold up concepts like truth, justice, freedom and happiness as ideals but is that all they are? Are we not meant to actually strive for them with all the force we can muster or are they just meant to hang on our wall like dusty paintings of a better time in the past or future? Like I said, these thoughts are inconclusive in my large west coast head right now so ironically I have no firm pronouncements or edicts.

Imagine if no one could lie, ever. Imagine if all our thoughts and feelings were on display for all others to see. Some would be mortified. Some would never leave their homes. Others would be in their glory. The notion of compromise enters the picture and the question then is, to what degree and about what do we censor and compromise? I believe that our societies and cultures are a culmination of these unspoken contracts that develop and change over time. Some push the envelop and what was crazy 20 years ago is old hat now.

The notion of order also enters the picture. Order seems to make sense. It smoothes out those rough edges but it also teeters close to control and represssion. This then often leads to rebellion and defiance - attractive to some. Che Guevara, perhaps the most renouned socialist, anti-imperialist icon of the century was notoriously uncompromising. It's one of the traits that made him so inspiring and fearsome at the same time. He was a brutal comandante and in a nutshell, it also led to his demise in Bolivia.

Does "the movement" need iconic figures, incorruptable symbols? Many a freedom fighter has sacrificed his or her life and happiness and family for their movement. Must we all? The revolutionary life has many appeals at enormous costs. It seems on some paths, the price of freedom is your freedom.

Where is my place? Where is yours?

W